I know that you said that it's unnecessary- that as long as I'm happy, you'll be happy for me.
But no matter how I look, I'd rather walk the path of thorns if it meant that I could save you just that one time when you truly need it. You've spent so much effort on me, and whilst you're strong, I can't help but fear that.....I don't want to say it. So many rely on you, and yet, who is there for you to rely on and protect you? You're human too. Even if it was to mean that I could never walk back, I thought I would have enough resolve to see it through. I thought that if I could be strong enough to save you that one time, I'd be happy enough with that.
But do I? Do I have the determination to follow it through? If I truly wanted to be better, shouldn't I be studying for the exam happening this coming Saturday rather than bemoan my current state of powerlessness?
Tell me, somebody, anybody. I can't sever away the part of me that wants to return. I'm still so weak. I don't want to be. I want to rely on someone. I can't. I shouldn't. I know that there is nothing wrong with accepting that one is weak, but time flows irrespective of one's own emotional stalemate. I...... need to decide. For myself. And then, accept.